Bullies & Gangs not to be invited on a night out

Adult bullying – thuggery at its worst

I’m a Thrifty Thursday kind of gal, so out comes the slow cooker to ease my pain. Thursday afternoons like any other parent on the planet, is an afternoon carting kids to various after school activities, so the slow cooker rules supreme. The very best of fast food.

Yesterday it was Chicken Noodle Soup, a dish I can actually cook without epic fail or mass voluntary eviction of my homes’ other occupants- the hubby, the kids and the guard cat.

Racing inside the cold dark home before anyone else arrives from work or uni,  The Troll,  Little Miss Mischief and I were greeted by the wonderful aroma of the soup. A deep breath in, I start every mother’s daily rite of passage- extracting the obnoxious bra from one’s body!

The kids never fail to complain at this process as the boobs fall from their support a few feet southbound and with the quick ripping off the jeans to replace them with my flanney pants, my transformation into ‘comfort mum’ is complete. These pants are so comfortable, so well worn, that they have become embarrassingly ‘holy’. I find my two other trusty apparel friends, Ugg Boots and the dressing gown, wrapping that around me just as the others start to filter in from their day.

“YUM” as they breathe in the mouth watering aroma. Zip has a crusty cob loaf with her and we just cant wait to dig in.

Yep, life is incredibly normal in our daggy household.

There are always people dropping in, usually the kids friends, who are completely comfortable with seeing me in complete comfy dag state because their mums are the same.

2 mouthfuls in and a chomp on the delicious bread, conversation is flowing and Zip is just about to tell us her ‘great news’, there’s a strong knock at the door. Zip was expecting Jade to pop in, but she’s more of a little tap and ‘hello’ as she walks right on in. Quick glances around to each other and no one is volunteering to leave their dinner unattended. “OK I’ll go” as expected. Saunter away towards the front door, I almost do my dramatic pull open door and bellow with arms outstretched ‘HELLO THERE BABY”, but I have been caught out lately, scaring the bejesus out of the poor unsuspecting person on the other side of the door.

Really glad I didn’t do that this time either; it would’ve have looked bad.

2 rather tall imposing policemen are standing there looking very official and I am suddenly very conscious of my attire.

They want to speak to #2 son and for once I am grateful that the office is the first room in the house. I am very grateful that I actually cleaned the office thoroughly on the previous wet long weekend; it was looking good.

September last year, the very first of my son’s friends is getting married. Like all males the bachelor’s party is something the blokes look forward to. Thursday before the wedding they all went into the city for the big pub-crawl. My son staggered in at 4am the following morning, past the office straight to his room. I thought he was staggering because of the alcohol consumption as I hear the taxi pull away from the house.

Few hours later, he emerged from his room with a blackened swollen face and suspected broken ribs. Apparently the groom and some of the others had fared worse; the night had become more than just a good time for celebration but a near death battle.

#2 son told me that they were waiting outside a nightclub, where a young couple were leaving. The man was quite drunk so his girlfriend had him sit in the gutter as she hailed a taxi.

Along came a gang of youths, out for the night also. What happened next shocked everyone. One of the thugs took a full kick swing at the seated drunk, as if his head was a football. Then the others started kicking  & punching the now unconscious body of the boyfriend.

“Everyone froze, it was supernatural, a twilight moment” My son explained. When the poor girlfriend tried to help, the thugs turned on her without any mercy. My son, his friends and others tried to intervene and protect the girl, an all out brawl ensued. While the fray was happening another bystander called 000, as the boyfriend lay convulsing on the ground.

Arrests were made as the police turned up and several ambulances ferried the injured to hospitals in different directions.

2 days later the makeup artist spends more time on the groom and his entourage than on the bride and her bridesmaids. The photographer has her work cut out post wedding as she uses all available Photoshop skills to erase any evidence of the many war wounds. Stiff and sore they all try and enjoy the wedding that was 18 long months in the planning.

Its now June, and the legal process of that night is now in full swing. The officer’s are in the process of building the case naturally. After half an hour they ask my son to come into the station to make a formal statement, as the other members of the party will be doing as well. We oblige naturally.

I drive as my son sits quietly in the passenger seat. His father is waiting at the station already as we arrive; some of the others are there with the support of girlfriends and parents. All of them are immediately placed under arrest, which sends a wave of panic amongst us. None of us have ever been involved in any incidence like this before; we are unaware of the protocols & procedures.

An officer with extremely good communication skills quickly explains with empathy why the boys are being arrested. They are all herded into separate interview rooms with family allowed to sit with them.

In the course of the next 2 and half hours, we hear the full story of that night. Where the boys come into the picture was at the tail end of a 5-hour rampage of terror by 5 youths aged from 17 to 24 on a bender fuelled by alcohol and drugs.

The boyfriend had proposed to his girlfriend that night. He has permanent head injuries and is still residing in rehab, his girlfriend had to have a plate put in her head and is suffering from a severe case of post traumatic stress syndrome. The newly engaged couple were fresh out of university and embarking on promising careers.  Not any longer.

None of the injured knew their assailants. The couple were only 2 of 5 very seriously injured people from that night.

 Most of the thugs had already notched up prior convictions. One of them a mere 18 yr-old, had already 22 prior charges and the mind boggles how these children were raised.  Having the mindset to randomly attack another human being with such ferocious force just because they sat in their path is beyond comprehension, beyond any form of normality.

3 hours earlier my family was living a completely normal life, as it should be. I thought of the young couple whose lives have now changed from their original plans through no fault or design of their own. No amount of ‘bully-proofing’ could have repaired or even change that couples fate. I thought of their parents, family & friends, whose relationships and own lifestyles have changed, caring & attending to a loved but damaged young person.

If it had been my own child I would have wanted to kill.

This is the sad part, the fatality, the destruction caused at the hands of violent bullying.

 “It takes a couple to make a child, but the whole village to raise a child” as the saying often goes, has left me with the question; have these children, damaged goods themselves, ever had love or empathy in their lives at all?  Where were their ‘village’ if not their parents to give them at least that? A few precious lives might have been allowed the right to live a full and happy life

 “Love the whole world and the whole world will love you”