Breastfeeding from the right hand side of the brain- part 1

Most people would have heard about the technique/book called 'Drawing from the Right Hand Side of the Brain". Its mostly about drawing from a different perspective, but the principles can be applied for everyday life, business or personal.
The left hand side of the brain is the almighty governor of our thought processes. The right hand side of the brain is the creative, non boundary, imaginary part of our psyche; it also has no fear!

Most children up until school age, by natures call, dominantly use the right hand side to learn. The before school years are the most significant learning years of any humans life, we learn more in those years than we do rest of our lives. From school days onwards, we learn through conditioning, we slide the right hand side of the brain towards the back waters of our mind. From school days onwards, we learn to 'measure' everything with the left hand side of the brain. Everything must have a proof, have a reason, must be seen and must be explained. We develop fear as a part of the process.

When a woman embarks on the great baby expedition from whence there is no return, a lot of the baggage she takes with her on this journey comes packed with great expectations. The heaviest & most burdensome one of all is the one called 'perfection'.
All the while, the left hand side of the brain menacingly rubs its hands with glee, its about to get its full quota and plus some more, of control.
Its the perfection package that usually starts the downfall of breastfeeding.

We see in glossy magazines, beautiful cherub babies, healthy & robust surrounded by white. White the symbol of purity & perfection. In real life babies rarely look or act like their magazine counterparts, but the toll of the subconscious starts to partner with the left hand side of the brain with some parents feeling "why isn't my baby like that? thought fermenting away deep inside.

Drawing the right hand side of the brain out will quickly dispel any unsettingly feelings. The trouble with the elusive RHSOB is that it needs to be drawn out, coaxed, possibly given a kick start if it hasn't been used for a while.

Amazingly its the very young first time mums and older experienced mums that utilise the RHSOB better than any other parenting age. For the young ones its the wonderful adage 'ignorance is bliss', they tend to go with the flow so to speak and the older mums 'get it'.
To draw out the RHSOB, you need to relax. Relaxation is the key to many successes in life; breastfeeding is one them.

The very first uncertainty mothers question is  "how much is my baby getting?" As mothers cant actually see the volume the baby consumes, the LHSOB starts to instill doubt, because people are conditioned from school age to 'prove' everything, to have evidence to support an argument. Breastfeeding mothers have to push this developed aspect aside and consider a relaxed common sense approach which uses a natural form of measurement. A weight gain of around 300g or more per week and at least 6 wet nappies a day is a sign that all is going well.

Some points to consider as guidelines
1) The smaller the baby the more feeds the baby will need. Larger babies are more efficient feeders than smaller, lightweight babies who tend to graze. Premmie babies will consume less but at more times throughout a 24 hour period.
2) Look at family genetic history, if the parents are grazers than the bub more than likely will be as well etc.
3) Hunger is painful for a baby, that's why they cry for a feed, so always feed a baby on demand. Never make the baby wait more than a few minutes. The old fashioned technique of closing the door on a screaming baby till it was 'its scheduled feed time' has thankfully been done away with, as having severe and detrimental consequences.
4) No comparison. If a mum from mothers group has a baby that feeds every 3 hours through the day, and sleeps 6 hours at night, and your baby doesn't; there's nothing wrong, your baby's pattern is their own.
5) There will always be good days and bad days.
6) Growth spurts, which is a great indicator baby is growing well also means baby will want to feed more. A few days of baby wanting to be attached at the breast permanently will be followed by a few days of longer sleeps, followed by you going shopping for clothes the next size up.

Baby Formula, is it becoming the new social No No or do my ears lie?

I think I'll make February all about breastfeeding. The do's, the do not's, try this, odd cases and breastfeeding myth busters. It would fill up February quite nicely.

I had a great talk with Danella from the Bub Hub on Monday. We have known each other for quite some time and have a cackle each time we speak. I personally love the Bub Hub site and have used it many times to help parents, forward expert parenting articles, and not at all mentioning the few distress calls of help myself when it comes to all things Little Miss Mischief, under the guise of another name.

We got to talking about breastfeeding and the ethics of advertising on parenting sites. I didn't know that formula & bottle companies are viewed as the Smoke & Alcohol of the under 3's culture! There is such a restriction of advertising placed on these companies it seems almost not worthwhile.
Bottle companies cannot advertise unless they visually include a breast pump in their advertising or have a breast pump on their product list. Breast feeding must be promoted above and beyond any substitute.

Wow! I do agree with the healthy promotion of breastfeeding but I don't agree with forcing companies to obtain a product that might not be well designed just for the sake of appeasing the advertising Nazi's. This type of behaviour is walking a fine line between enforcing conformity and overstepping social correctness. What has me confused, is who or what organisation governs this anyway.

It's scary to think that down the track just like Cigarette companies are forced to put graphic distressing pictures of diseased body parts on their packaging, the same will apply with formula cans,
"Warning, the use of formula will decrease your breast feeding life, possibly make your child stupid, shun you socially and lead to the annihilation of the entire human race!" For help on quitting formula feeding call our quit line on 13....

Or in the near future when all smokes will have to be wrapped in brown paper, just like alcohol, which will leave all unfortunate smokers having to guess which brand they might be smoking or what strength, heaven forbid if you land menthol smokes! the same could apply to formula tins, it certainly heading that way.

I can see in the near future, mothers sneaking up to the brown papered tins in the baby isle guessing if they are buying the correct age, socially unacceptable product and stowing it in their handbag, not in their trolley, till checkout time, while they peruse the crowd for any familiar faces, it would be death by gossip if caught.
I can imagine huddles forming outside school fences, with educative whispering from experienced mothers to newbies on how to detect the correct unidentifiable formula by sense of smell alone. A whiff from 10 paces minimum, then the stealth, cunningness and grace of a 1950's cat burglar to swipe it of the shelf.

There have been over the years, some strong rumours circulating that if the pharmaceutical companies had their way, formula would only be dispensed by prescription only, they have enough money and underhanded dealings going on to make that a real possibility.
What about the mother? Would the mother have to go through breast feeding counselling, be assessed by a lactation consultant before formula could be prescribed? What about the other parent? the one without the mammary glands and the hair around the nipples?
Well, hope not, because mothers will go to their grandmothers and ask "How did you do it?", mostly it was cows milk mixed with sugar of milk, boiled and skimmed, to make the home made formula of the pre 1960's. It's also a recipe for disaster.

Would a mother have to also battle picket lines of Nature mums demanding the supermarkets stop stocking the formula. Of course I wonder how many of these mums will be around to wet nurse an infant, whose mother is sick, or has lost her milk, had a car accident, had to go back to work.

Wet nursing is very natural, and has been practised throughout the eons of history, I have done it myself for 2 babes.
My imagining would involve setting up a human dairy for mothers who find nursing someone elses baby a repulsive prospect. With no formula about there's no choice, lactating mothers could spend their days lining up to be paid for their liquid gold, find it Woolies that very afternoon under the brands such as "Diary Mothers" sold in 500ml, 1ltr or 2 ltr quantities.
There are already in place underground milk banks, where mothers who, for what ever reason, can no longer breastfeed their baby, can buy breast milk rather than using commercially prepared formula. I think that this is absolutely brilliant and would solve the moral dilemma immediately, except that the pharmaceutical companies put the kibosh on that by issuing statements that  diseases such as HIV, could be transmitted through breast milk. Unfortunately they are not wrong.

I think commercial formula is as necessary a part of early parenting life as it is to teach them to drive years down the track, except formula should be less scary.

Another smoke free blog :)

The best of both worlds- Breast & Bottle feeding or no need to be a closet Comp Feeder

Some time ago I wrote a blog called 'Breastfeeding and going back to work' on the benefits of 'comp' feeding; I awaited the backlash. Alas there might have been a small amount of complaints, but mostly there were many thankyou's. Thankyou's from closet comp feeders.

Comp Feeding for those not in the know, is where a baby is dually fed both breast and bottle. Bottle fed can be either formula or expressed breast milk.

I was delighted to read an article in the latest edition of Practical Parenting, called 'The best of both worlds', a commonsense approach to comp feeding. I did scratch my head as to why such an important article that could help soothe an anxiety filled situation for most new mothers, would be right at the back of the magazine.
Maybe we haven't quite broken the taboo of Comp Feeding as of yet.

Medically proven that breast milk is best, there is no argument about the importance of mother natures own liquid gold. The longer the breast milk is offered the better, but some breast milk is better than none at all.

The first few days after a baby's birth, is the most vital in getting the important antibodies. Colostrum, the 'first milk'  (immediately available after birth and the first 3 days) is incredibly high and rich in immunity, these antibodies that will help protect our newborn babies from the nasties out there. We are talking about germs.
When the 'milk comes in' around 3-4 days after birth, this milk provides the nourishment that a baby needs to survive.
Most women are under the impression that the first 12 months is the maximum sentence handed down for breastfeeding, actually 18 months to 2 years is the optimus prime when it comes to feeding the liquid gold.

In an ideal world, the goal would be to strive for weaning that is baby led; where the baby denotes when they no longer want Mummy's Milk, which typically for most babes is around 18 months of age  and only having 1 to 2 feeds a day.
In an ideal world there would be no obstacles, such as life, that would get in the way of that goal.
Life has a funny way of getting in the way of ideals.

A mum who is having a less than perfect time at breastfeeding, might give up all together, or a mum that needs to go back to work sooner than wanted might not give it a chance at all. A tired, frazzled, concerned mum on the verge of 'losing it' will feel the need to self correct the situation by ending breastfeeding with a horrible sense of failure and guilt thrown in for good self punishing measure.

What if all 3 situations could be eased and rectified by introducing 'Comp Feeding'. There would be a high chance that the baby would achieve being fed breast milk to the World Health Organisations & pediatricians recommendation of 18mths to 2yrs of age.
There is also the fact that mums might be offloaded the burden of guilt, which is always a good thing. A guilt free mum is a happy confident mum.
As society readily accepts working mothers and mums in jeans in our midst, we should also readily accept and encourage comp feeding as opposed to non existent breastfeeding.

There are many reasons why total breastfeeding isn't successful or tangible, almost as varied as how long a piece of string is. Each situation is unique and should never be judged harshly in comparison to other scenarios. In a lot of cases, Comp Feeding could have been successfully implemented, taking away the emotional trauma, trauma that for some mothers have spent years dealing with.

Comp feeding has benefits for families as well as mum, even if it is just a simple break time for mum. Fathers, often overlooked in the new baby care routine other than nappy changing and general house maintenance duties can emotional benefit greatly when feeding their baby the bottle. Fathers that actively engage from birth in bottle feeding and carrying their baby around in a hammock style sling will bond closer to their child earlier and make a far more confident parent in their own right. Dad will parent effectively, dad style.
Grandparents, siblings, aunts & uncles, cousins or friends or who ever makes up the greater family circle will also benefit greatly with the bonding of feeding.

Most mother's will substitute the most difficult feed of the day for the bottle, which statistically speaking is the 'devils hour' feed, anywhere from 3pm to 7pm. Mum is by this time of the day very tired, maybe dehydrated (a significant problem with milk flow), older children to cart around to after school activities, dinner to be prepared etc. Handing the baby over to either someone else to bottle feed if the baby is fretful or have some one else do all the chores, but return to breastfeeding for the feeds that are enjoyed, can eliminate so much stress and pressure rather than throwing it all away because its just too hard.
One of our graphic designers Luca, has successfully comp fed her 13mth old baby since she was 3 months old. I remember Luca fretting about her struggling with breastfeeding and the rigours of a busy family and work life, when I suggested that she should try comp feeding, rather than giving up breastfeeding all together. Luca replied "Can I do that?"
Luca has continued to enjoy what she calls 'our special morning/ evening time' with her bub.

I am certainly all for 'outing' closet comp feeders. I too, practised comp feeding for 5 of my children. If I had the guts to comp feed my first child, he too would have been breastfed till  he weaned himself at around 18mths like his younger brothers & sisters did, except for Little Miss Mischief who was 3 and a half, when I decided I should start to encourage booby disengagement . Unfortunately for Ry, my beautiful chocolate eyed first born son, after months of battling the loosing battle, and feeling lower to the ground than an ants knee, I gave up. 

I give up, I give in, I let go, lets begin (from the immortal words of songbird Colbie Callait) I gave him the bottle and packed away my boobs, wrapped tightly in wilting cabbage leaves. I felt so guilty that I couldn't do such a simple natural process such as feeding my son. I had lost my mothers right of passage.

After #2 was born, which I triumphed breast feeding quite easily, I was angered by the fact that the guilt was so incredibly needless. I felt guilty about feeling guilty when I didn't really need to feel guilty in the first place.

There are a lot of reasons why some women cant breastfeed at all, and those, who have successfully breast fed, should never lay blame or instill guilt, because woman who couldn't breastfeed have done enough of that already, OK.