Bully, Bully, Bully, is it Truly, in an Ideal World- Part 1

Little Miss Mischief is playing the soundtrack of Mama Mia, in the background I hear the eternal words of ABBA's song Money, Money, Money, it must be funny, in a rich man's world.

As a mum, I am heartbroken.
As a parent, I am angered.
As a citizen, I want justice.
As a writer, I want to tell the world.
As a world occupant, it has happened to so many, so many times before.
As an opportunist, I see this as an ideal learning enterprise to review, enhance and implement changes that will benefit all mankind.

As a realist, I have to make a decision because..........

There are 2 empty chairs in a classroom at our local school.
Yesterday, today & tomorrow are school days, yet these chairs will remain empty, devoid of its usual occupants, 2 little girls caught in a battle that cant be won.

Both sets of parents are taking a stand.

One set wants the victim that fought back to be punished.
One set wants the bully to be punished.

One child's word against 6 others.
There are witness's of course, 5 of them; the bully's entourage.

It comes as no surprise to most in the know, the school has decided to punish the victim.
One child trust in her school is shattered as a complete betrayal of justice unfolds before her very young eyes.
A child, alone, guttered, traumatised, catapulted into a very adult world where lies and deceit rule. Bullies very rarely are caught, because they know how to lie so well.

In a 'blind' spot of the school, there are 7 children.
4 of the gang stand guard.
The victim, held from behind in a tight hold by the 5th child is forced to face another.
The victim is so terrified of the impending contact of a fist hurtling towards her, did what she could to avoid the blow.
A  defenceless 7 year old girl now becomes the aggressor; the 'voilent' perpetrator that has a record, There isn't even a mark on the Bully that a microscope could detect.

The bully and her gang raced to the teacher before she could. Strategically, pointing the finger at the real victim, bullies cleverly avoid punishment by acting as a victim themselves. Backed up by 'witnesses' of course, this squashes the real victim's attempt to counter claim. The obliging teacher was no longer interested in seeing the finger marks left on the real victims body as the child is dragged to the office.

The headmaster tells the victims parents that he knows the children lied, but what could he do? his hands are tied; the school is governed by a policy.

He & the other teachers know the children lied! but their hands are tied.
What sort of policy protects the bullies?
Ones written by administrators not child behavioural psychologists, experts in the field of behaviour.

According to many councillors this is how it always plays out, how it always ends up. There is nothing our school or any school can do except punish the victim.

After all there is always 2 sides, and like our country's legal system, the one with the most convincing argument regardless of evidence will always win. Truth doesn't count.

I am a firm believer that there is always an answer, but it helps if,

1) Teachers are not only wiser & more savvy than their pupils but act that way as well.

2) Investigate evidence from both sides anyway

3) Understand that bullies never work alone, nor do they attack a group on their own, let alone children that are much older or bigger than them.

4) The red tape that binds the hands can be cut. There is never a shortage of cutting tools.

For most victims, the school becomes an unhealthy & an unsafe environment.
Legally we cant expose our children to dangerous situations, yet legally our children must attend school.

Once a child has any record of 'voilence', no matter the infraction or the cause, the circumstance, admission to another school becomes almost impossible.

Last night we all rugged and up went for a walk. I know that walking induces talking.
By the time our guard cat Apollo stopped at his boundary a small block from home, she started to talk.
"They lied" she said.
We all agreed
"Aren't we supposed to tell the truth, aren't the teachers supposed to listen to the truth?" she said
Ritch wraps his arms around her shoulders, hugging her close and says
"Yeah, about that, I don't know who started that rumour.." 4 exaggerated coughs cue him to stop...immediately
Drue intervenes quickly "Yes, if people didn't lie, just think, we wouldn't have detectives, we wouldn't have police officers" Zip adds "And, stories, books, movies" with that Ritch adds "forensic scientists, imagination"
"Imagination! is that lying? is that a bad thing?"she exclaims
They all look at me (why do they do that)
"No honey its not a bad thing, its just that without lies the world would be a very different place"
"Can we play I Spy now" she jumps up & down.
We all look at Ritch and with group cursed looks we warn him, keep it simple!
Ritch is the master of I Spy, and not many can identify his object
After many lost rounds to Ritch yet again, he tells Little Miss Mischief how proud he was of her Karate move on the ringleader.
"yeah" she scoffs "should have seen her face! She didn't expect that I could do that", We all laugh at her theatrical impersonation of the girls face.
We are still enjoying mileage by making the fun of the gang of bullies by the time we are on the loop back and meet up with our cat Apollo who is waiting for us, she throws me the curly question



We know that for LMM it will be over, the girls will go after less confident kids.
Yet my anger revisits, we are all angry.
The school's anti bully policy is a complete farce, a joke.
Policies are in place only to deal with the end result of a situation, a band aid for political correctness to stem off litigation, they are never an education in themselves.

When a school or workplace states that they have a strict anti-bully policy, it really means if  caught, regardless of being the bully or the victim, there are no exceptions, punishment is severe. Emphasis is on the 'if caught'.

I am a firm believer too in 

a) Team Sports & Martial Arts b) A loving, warm, strong family home that is Sanctuary for a child

As a now non smoker, I really want a smoke right now.

Part 2 coming soon

Written once again by an author smoke free but on the verge of caving in..........