Well in this weeks newspaper that is, researchers are
stating it’s healthy and promotes emotional intelligence. Not that it comes as
a surprise to those who do so, either voluntarily or by default.
We all know that sleeping with someone makes you feel
more close to him or her, more attached, more loved and more capable of loving
in return. This is especially true with our children, as it extends bonding
opportunities, especially for working parents who feel time deprived and quilt
ridden. It’s a super bonding time without the effort. How easy is that? A
parent doesn’t even have to think.
Co-Sleeping provides more comfortable, efficient and
cosier environment for night feeding especially in winter when its too ‘friggin’
cold to traipse the long cold hall down to the other side of the house where
you have delegated baby to sleep. Ok so you’ve done a fantastic job with
decorating your baby’s room in the months waiting for your precious bundle to
arrive, it doesn’t mean it’s going to waste; there are plenty of years yet
where it will get trashed by growing bub.
For those who deprive themselves of even further sleep
by doing the nightly bed hopping yo –yo routine, simply stop killing yourself
and get on with some sleep.
I’ll guarantee my life that one morning you’ll wake up
and they wont be there. I’ll also guarantee that the first response you’ll get
before the rejoicing hits; is a disappointed “oh”.
I’ll also guarantee that you will sneak into their
bedroom just to make sure everything is ok. You’ll know in that instant as you
see your precious child still in a snuggled sleep, as your heart pangs and the
lower lip will drop ever so slightly, that your child is growing up. The
drawing close of an era is at hand
He or she, who would steal into your room in the dead
of night with stealth, yet launch onto the bed with the diplomacy and grace of
a over zealous bouncing chimpanzee as they wedge their way in between you and
your partner to get prime position and double-sided cuddles is now quite happy
in their own bed.
As you remind yourself of the many mornings waking up
cold, greeted by a blanket of tickly hair splayed across your face, an arm
draped over your chest and the blankets kicked off by the intrepid mite; one
leg in and one leg out, as the sounds of gentle snoring and their mouth open
& drooling as you hang on the very edge of the bed by a smidgeon, how can
such a little person take up so much room?
How can you protest when hours earlier, they’ve
cuddled up to you, planting their cold foot on your warm leg, “I wuv you
mummy”.
I’m often asked from parents “Should I take my child
back to their own bed and force them to stay there?”
I used to answer why? Why do such as thing, but now I
ask them “what do you think is the right thing to do, don’t answer me with what
you think is the ‘right’ answer or what you think I want to hear, but what do you
think, what do you feel?”
It’s funny how most times the answer is roughly the
same. When parents feel unburdened by judgement or acceptance but answer with
their own thoughts & feelings.
“Actually I like it, I feel so much closer to my
child, I feel its wrong to force them to sleep by themselves when they are
scared or needing me” Is the usual response, so there’s your answer.
I remember my hairdresser telling me her daughter’s
response, when she told her daughter that she was a big girl now and she should
sleep on her own “How come if I’m a big girl and have to sleep on my own, you
still sleep with daddy and you’re bigger!”
After 4 months of this nightly battle with her
daughter at the insistence of her cousin (telling her that she posed
irreversible damage to her daughter if she allowed her to sleep with them), she
couldn’t answer the most logical argument presented. My hairdresser picked her
daughter up, hopped into bed and snuggled up tight.
“I never stopped her from coming in again, wasting 4
months of sleep & sanity on trying to appease my cousin, whom I have to add
has a lousy relationship with her own kids anyway. My husband enjoys her being
there as he is a shift worker and doesn’t get a lot of time with her”.
If you are still worried then look at it logically
1) How many 25 yr olds do you know still sleeping
with their parents? – None hey?
2) How many 18 yr olds do you find sleeping with
their parents – I don’t think so
3) How many 15 yr olds do you find sleeping with
their parents? Not on your nelly!
4) How many 12 yr olds do you find sleeping with
their parents? Maybe on the rare occasion if they are very sick
5) 5)How many 10 yr olds do you find sleeping with
their parents? Maybe on the rare occasion after a nightmare or sick
6) 6)How many 8 yr olds do you find sleeping with
their parents? Maybe a tad more than 10 yr olds, after a nightmare, sick or
watching a scary movie they thought they were up for.
7) 7)5 yr olds and under – definitely a lot more
because they know only mummies & daddies can keep the wardrobe monsters
away.
Can you see the pattern? There’s no need to worry but
a couple of tips though
1) Get a really good bed! and 2) In times when your child or children has a severe case of
bed hog, make sure you have a comfy couch that’s long enough to sleep on.
ENJOY!
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