Number one daughter and I ventured into iconic Glebe markets yesterday, located in the inner west of Sydney. We wanted to catch up with some old friends who sell their wares there. Having been marketeers for many years and a part of the Glebe market hub for a few of them, we know how congested it always is. Aisles at one metre wide at the most, people are generally walking through shoulder to shoulder with strangers. Its no place for 2 things, prams and dogs walking on leads.
Generally people are sensible and hold their little canine pal in their arms and parents use slings. Yesterday that didn't happen when both of the two no no's collided that set off a chain reaction. Thankfully no one was badly injured, some beautiful handcrafted stock was destroyed which left one marketeer in tears and another customer with a badly twisted ankle. It could have been avoided.
So what actually happened?
Mum was pushing pram, with screaming baby that was about nine months old. For most babies around this age, the onslaught of the sea of legs is distressing and overwhelming. The pram was blocking access for most people, trying to side step and silently curse around it. Man with dog squeezes through, woman with pram decides no more queue jumping and pushes through, wheels catch the leash. Another person trips on the leash, falling against the owner, who falls against the woman with the pram, who stumbles backwards into the person behind her, who in turn stumbles onto the next person, who is pushed onto a stand. That stand knocks onto another stand that crashes onto a stall of hand crafted ceramic items. The sounds of crashing pottery and cries could be heard through out the market, and some yelling, screaming and cursing promptly followed suit.
Regardless of who's at fault, whether its the man with the dog or the woman pushing the pram, this doesn't help the distraught marketeer who just lost considerable property and income, nor to the poor woman who twisted her ankle and couldn't drive themselves home. Thankfully a couple of marketeers came to the rescue and managed to get both the woman and her car home.
If you are going to a crowded event, do bub a favour, leave the pram in the car and sling it. You'll be more mobile, less frustrated and bub will feel less anxious too, and you might just avert a catastrophe.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Juggling Life as a working mum - tell me about it!
I hear it everywhere, on the forums, on the phone and in conversations, "how do you juggle working life with a family?".
It's universal, no matter what type of career women have, women with children struggle at some point, if not all the time. Find a mother who doesn't get overwhelmed and stressed out, pinch her to see if she's real.
Answers like "you have to find a balance" is cliched, demoralizing and certainly unhelpful. What working mothers need, is a guide to finding a balance thats unique to their situation and lifestyle, how long is a piece of string.
Getting organised with forward planning is a discipline all on its own. It works, but it's the last thing a mum can do really well when she is emotionally fettered by a really bad work day, kids are bickering and hungry, and no meat was left out to defrost, for that that scrumptious gourmet meal everyone expects (actually it's really mum that expects such high standard). Bring out the can of baked beans embellish it with toast and some microwaved greens, top it of with a glass of milk for the kids, piece of fruit for desert and you have a healthy well balanced meal that has the important intake of legumes. Sit down with the family take a deep breath in, exhale the frustration out and enjoy. It's a meal, not gourmet, but just as nutritionally important. At the end of the day, as mothers we are charged with the nutritional intake for our family, not the status of the food they eat.
A home is for free expression not good impressions. Our homes are for our families to reside in, to grow up in, to love and feel safe, not to impress other people who come in from time to time. Cleanliness is comforting, spotlessness is madness. It's all about the right attitude
Finding a balance really means finding an outlet in which you can recharge your batteries, something that makes you feel real and rejuvenated. For me I found walking every morning is my "get up and go", my kick start. I found this purely by coincidence.
17 years ago when I had 3 small children, working full time and studying via correspondence, I was overwhelmed, fatigued and trying incredibly hard to hold it all together. My girlfriend at work was getting married in 12 months and wanted to loose 35 kilo's in weight, she railroaded me into having a brisk 45 minute walk each morning before work. The mornings for me was the hard time, getting kids ready, husband ready and myself, all I could do was gulp.
The night before, I got everything ready. The following morning slipped out before anyone was awake, I was anxious during my walk, whilst Leanne was chattering excitedly about her upcoming wedding. Over the course of that 45 minutes we spoke about a lot of things, it was the 45 minutes that I wasn't a mother, a wife, an employee or a student, I was me. Of course when I returned chaos was rampant, kids weren't dressed, husband had slept in, leaving me too think maybe this isn't such a good idea. I found myself feeling really good throughout the day and the evening woes didn't seem to appear, except when husband came home. A half hour lecture about the consequence of him being late for work, about me being responsible in the duty for my kids was finished with his famous words "Your a mother now, your life has ended, you can't do anything that you wont anymore". I was 29, I had just been told my life has ended! I saw red.
The next morning I was even more determined to go for that healthy walk, but I got the older boys in action by telling them they had to be dressed before I got home. Sure enough they were.
In that 12 months we only missed 4 days, when we had torrential rain. On the 5th day, my son handed me an umbrella and ordered me to go for a walk, saying I was a better mum when I did. When a 5 year old notices the difference, you know it's working.
Leanne lost her 35 kilo's and was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen and we continued our ritual walk until she moved 2 years later.
17 years on, I still go for my morning walk, armed with my Ipod, listening to my favourite music, it clears the cobwebs from the brain, recharges my emotional batteries and helps me find the balance within myself to make things work for the rest of the day.
As a mother, your the key person in the family, it's vitally important that you find inner balance so that you can balance the everything on the outside. It's also very personal, each women has a different outlet. One friend of mine has some time set aside each week to sit and read her favourite magazine from front to back with a cup of coffee and 2 Tim Tams, for an other, it's the saturday morning catchup with girlfriends at a much loved cafe. Outlets are as varied as there are people but the effects are all the same; it recharges the soul, instills positive attitude and enhances the success of everyday life on all fronts.
Of course there many helpful handy tips to saving time, such as a dishwasher, whether it's a mechanical (the best and most reliable type) or a people orientated version such as husband or kids. A slow cooker is a must for the winter months ( If you don't like to leave things on while your a work, cook it overnight and reheat when you get home). A deep freezer in which to store double cooked meals. A frozen home cooked meal is faster, less expensive than any takeaway meal.
Time management is essential. The art of time management comes easily when you have found inner balance, and thats a whole other blog. So in the meantime till I post time management for mums, go and try to find some "ME" time
It's universal, no matter what type of career women have, women with children struggle at some point, if not all the time. Find a mother who doesn't get overwhelmed and stressed out, pinch her to see if she's real.
Answers like "you have to find a balance" is cliched, demoralizing and certainly unhelpful. What working mothers need, is a guide to finding a balance thats unique to their situation and lifestyle, how long is a piece of string.
Getting organised with forward planning is a discipline all on its own. It works, but it's the last thing a mum can do really well when she is emotionally fettered by a really bad work day, kids are bickering and hungry, and no meat was left out to defrost, for that that scrumptious gourmet meal everyone expects (actually it's really mum that expects such high standard). Bring out the can of baked beans embellish it with toast and some microwaved greens, top it of with a glass of milk for the kids, piece of fruit for desert and you have a healthy well balanced meal that has the important intake of legumes. Sit down with the family take a deep breath in, exhale the frustration out and enjoy. It's a meal, not gourmet, but just as nutritionally important. At the end of the day, as mothers we are charged with the nutritional intake for our family, not the status of the food they eat.
A home is for free expression not good impressions. Our homes are for our families to reside in, to grow up in, to love and feel safe, not to impress other people who come in from time to time. Cleanliness is comforting, spotlessness is madness. It's all about the right attitude
Finding a balance really means finding an outlet in which you can recharge your batteries, something that makes you feel real and rejuvenated. For me I found walking every morning is my "get up and go", my kick start. I found this purely by coincidence.
17 years ago when I had 3 small children, working full time and studying via correspondence, I was overwhelmed, fatigued and trying incredibly hard to hold it all together. My girlfriend at work was getting married in 12 months and wanted to loose 35 kilo's in weight, she railroaded me into having a brisk 45 minute walk each morning before work. The mornings for me was the hard time, getting kids ready, husband ready and myself, all I could do was gulp.
The night before, I got everything ready. The following morning slipped out before anyone was awake, I was anxious during my walk, whilst Leanne was chattering excitedly about her upcoming wedding. Over the course of that 45 minutes we spoke about a lot of things, it was the 45 minutes that I wasn't a mother, a wife, an employee or a student, I was me. Of course when I returned chaos was rampant, kids weren't dressed, husband had slept in, leaving me too think maybe this isn't such a good idea. I found myself feeling really good throughout the day and the evening woes didn't seem to appear, except when husband came home. A half hour lecture about the consequence of him being late for work, about me being responsible in the duty for my kids was finished with his famous words "Your a mother now, your life has ended, you can't do anything that you wont anymore". I was 29, I had just been told my life has ended! I saw red.
The next morning I was even more determined to go for that healthy walk, but I got the older boys in action by telling them they had to be dressed before I got home. Sure enough they were.
In that 12 months we only missed 4 days, when we had torrential rain. On the 5th day, my son handed me an umbrella and ordered me to go for a walk, saying I was a better mum when I did. When a 5 year old notices the difference, you know it's working.
Leanne lost her 35 kilo's and was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen and we continued our ritual walk until she moved 2 years later.
17 years on, I still go for my morning walk, armed with my Ipod, listening to my favourite music, it clears the cobwebs from the brain, recharges my emotional batteries and helps me find the balance within myself to make things work for the rest of the day.
As a mother, your the key person in the family, it's vitally important that you find inner balance so that you can balance the everything on the outside. It's also very personal, each women has a different outlet. One friend of mine has some time set aside each week to sit and read her favourite magazine from front to back with a cup of coffee and 2 Tim Tams, for an other, it's the saturday morning catchup with girlfriends at a much loved cafe. Outlets are as varied as there are people but the effects are all the same; it recharges the soul, instills positive attitude and enhances the success of everyday life on all fronts.
Of course there many helpful handy tips to saving time, such as a dishwasher, whether it's a mechanical (the best and most reliable type) or a people orientated version such as husband or kids. A slow cooker is a must for the winter months ( If you don't like to leave things on while your a work, cook it overnight and reheat when you get home). A deep freezer in which to store double cooked meals. A frozen home cooked meal is faster, less expensive than any takeaway meal.
Time management is essential. The art of time management comes easily when you have found inner balance, and thats a whole other blog. So in the meantime till I post time management for mums, go and try to find some "ME" time
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The terror of Meal times
Meal times with toddlers and young children can be fraught with emotional danger, but it doesn't need to be.
As parents we all worry that our children don't get enough to eat especially with children that are grazers. Some little ones are like Duracell batteries, they just keep going on and on without little recharge.
To get the little ones to eat more of their meal there are a few little tricks to keep in mind
1) Keep meal times happy and engaging, not a battle zone. Turn off the TV and talk with each other at the table. Ambient music played softly in the background sets the mood. Silence is one company that shouldn't be invited to the table
2) don't overload the plate, children need at least 5 small meals a day not 3 larger meals. A large plate can be overwhelming for the younger ones.
3) don't over emphasis finishing their meal, but more enjoy being in each others company. As you are eating and talking with them they will follow suit. If they are stubborn about eating anything, depending on the dish served, unfinished meal and be placed in the fridge and reheated a little later if they are hungry again.
4) if your child dislikes a particular food this week, loved it last week, they more than likely will love it once again in a few weeks time. Never force a child to eat a food they naturally dislike, if they shudder & shake or gag, there are plenty of alternative foods of the same nutritional content to benefit their health.
5) Hide veges in a mash or pasta dish, if veges are a battle starter. "Martian Mash" was very popular in my household for while.
6) Encourage children to help prepare the meals and set the table and also discuss what the meal should be. Openly reward involvement at the dinner table, eg "Wow you did a fantastic job with mashing the potatoes, they taste great..."
7) Don't serve meals too late, evening meals for the under 10's should be before 6.30 pm. Hungry children can get "over" their hunger and become less inclined to eat at all.
If one parent comes home later than the rest of the family, that parent can still have "meal times" with the children. I know one family has the children doing homework at the table while Dad is having dinner, while he is eating, he is also helping with homework and talking about their day. At times the children finished of their meal with Dad.
8) Draw boundaries such as "kitchen is closed after dinner".
As parents we all worry that our children don't get enough to eat especially with children that are grazers. Some little ones are like Duracell batteries, they just keep going on and on without little recharge.
To get the little ones to eat more of their meal there are a few little tricks to keep in mind
1) Keep meal times happy and engaging, not a battle zone. Turn off the TV and talk with each other at the table. Ambient music played softly in the background sets the mood. Silence is one company that shouldn't be invited to the table
2) don't overload the plate, children need at least 5 small meals a day not 3 larger meals. A large plate can be overwhelming for the younger ones.
3) don't over emphasis finishing their meal, but more enjoy being in each others company. As you are eating and talking with them they will follow suit. If they are stubborn about eating anything, depending on the dish served, unfinished meal and be placed in the fridge and reheated a little later if they are hungry again.
4) if your child dislikes a particular food this week, loved it last week, they more than likely will love it once again in a few weeks time. Never force a child to eat a food they naturally dislike, if they shudder & shake or gag, there are plenty of alternative foods of the same nutritional content to benefit their health.
5) Hide veges in a mash or pasta dish, if veges are a battle starter. "Martian Mash" was very popular in my household for while.
6) Encourage children to help prepare the meals and set the table and also discuss what the meal should be. Openly reward involvement at the dinner table, eg "Wow you did a fantastic job with mashing the potatoes, they taste great..."
7) Don't serve meals too late, evening meals for the under 10's should be before 6.30 pm. Hungry children can get "over" their hunger and become less inclined to eat at all.
If one parent comes home later than the rest of the family, that parent can still have "meal times" with the children. I know one family has the children doing homework at the table while Dad is having dinner, while he is eating, he is also helping with homework and talking about their day. At times the children finished of their meal with Dad.
8) Draw boundaries such as "kitchen is closed after dinner".
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Taking Kids out of the Comfort Zone
One of the best things you can do for your child's development is to take them out of their comfort zone!, regularly.
Children that are given that opportunity are very rarely bored or irritable and tend to develop a positive "hands on or lets get moving" approach as they grow. They also cope a lot better when hiccups occur and have better observation skills.
Routine tends to set people in their ways. Strict routine makes attitudes very stale and uncompromising.
Today's "Out of the Comfort Zone" topic is Transport
There are so many ways to get people from A to B, yet when a regularly set mode of transport can't be used, most people come undone and life seems to stop.
I knew a high school student whose mum dropped him off at school each morning on the her way to work. One day the car didn't start, they staid home for the next 3 days while the car was being fixed. It was only a 3 block walk to school, less than 15 minutes. It never occurred to him or his mother that he could walk the short distance and she could catch the train. The only mode of transport for them was the car, it had become so ingrained into their mindset that other forms of transport such as walking, cycling, train, bus, or organizing a lift, had never even been considered. Sadly, they had become crippled by their routine.
If you normally drive to the shops and find yourself parking in the same area, change it. If you need to drive, ask the kids (depending on the age) "Where shall we park today, I feel like somewhere different?" Allow them to make a suggestion. If their eye's pop open and point to some direction, that's great, you have engagement. Getting out of the car, give them the responsibility of that suggestion: "Do you think you remember where we parked, lets look around...." Returning to the car park after shopping, ask your child if they remember where the car is. They will, praise them for such a great memory.
Leg Power!!
Walking is fantastic, soothes the soul and you can delight in little discoveries that normally wouldn't be found if you were driving along
Get your child to lead the way, allow them to decide which way to go. If they decide in the opposite direction, let them know they have chosen the wrong direction. Get them to think about it if they protest, about the way when traveling in the car. Get them to look for landmarks if possible.
Encourage them to change the route each time, "We went that way last time, let's see where this way will take us".
After all possible routes are exhausted, they might have found a favourite way, or the quick way etc, then the choices are still there.
Also inform them too that there might other factors when deciding a route, such as time. "Today we have to take the quick way as we don't have a lot of time, or it looks like it might rain quite soon" etc.
If time is short, suggest cycling. If the weather is not favourable, how about taking the bus or train.
Introduce Public Transport ASAP
Using the bus or train introduces the idea of coordinated, communal traveling and strangers. There are also a lot of processes involved with using public transport, such as buying tickets, which train/bus, which platform/bus stop, timing of the trip etc. It's an incredibly valuable education in engagement and decision making.
I am aghast at the amount of teenagers or young adults who are fearful of using trains or buses because of so many factors that include the following
1) There so many strangers,
2) I don't know which train to take
3) What ticket to buy
4) What do I do if I get off at the wrong station.
Some years ago my daughter Zjarie and her best friend Rachel organised with a few friends to venture into the city to see the annual Archibald Prize at the Art Gallery Of NSW. At the age of 15, she was a public transport pro!.
Middle of the day, Saturday, lots of people and safety in numbers, they were at an age that parental supervision should now be limited.
A group of ten 15 year olds wanted to go. There was some coordinating to do. The train seemed to be the best option as St James Station was just a very short walk to the gallery. As we live in a rural area and most of the kids were scattered over a 20 km distance, quite a few didn't live any where near the 3 stations available. The question was posed if 3 or 4 could sleep overnight beforehand, some also needed to be back before a certain time due to other commitments. All were to meet at the designated train station for the 9.05am train and be back by 3.30pm.
Listening to the girls discuss everything from timing, billeting and itinerary with expertise was amazing and reassuring, these girls had everything under control without parental supervision. There were a couple of hiccups. One boy who had just achieved his black belt in karate wasn't confident enough to go on this daytime excursion without a parent. He had never used public transport before and traveling all the way into the city was to much for him so he bailed out. The other hiccup was a parent who rang me, I had to hold the phone at arm's length, her expletives still made my ears curl. There was another forced bail out.
The day came and went, it was the first of many, many such trips. 8 teenagers would have fond memories of a fantastic day in the city complete with culture and a picnic lunch in the park, the same 8, who get together, travel the country and this year will go to Greece during University break.
The moral of this story is; At one point in time you can no longer hold your childs hand, you have to let go. Introducing & educating them in life's skills from the earliest possible time will make the transition for you and your growing child all the more easier.
Children that are given that opportunity are very rarely bored or irritable and tend to develop a positive "hands on or lets get moving" approach as they grow. They also cope a lot better when hiccups occur and have better observation skills.
Routine tends to set people in their ways. Strict routine makes attitudes very stale and uncompromising.
Today's "Out of the Comfort Zone" topic is Transport
There are so many ways to get people from A to B, yet when a regularly set mode of transport can't be used, most people come undone and life seems to stop.
I knew a high school student whose mum dropped him off at school each morning on the her way to work. One day the car didn't start, they staid home for the next 3 days while the car was being fixed. It was only a 3 block walk to school, less than 15 minutes. It never occurred to him or his mother that he could walk the short distance and she could catch the train. The only mode of transport for them was the car, it had become so ingrained into their mindset that other forms of transport such as walking, cycling, train, bus, or organizing a lift, had never even been considered. Sadly, they had become crippled by their routine.
If you normally drive to the shops and find yourself parking in the same area, change it. If you need to drive, ask the kids (depending on the age) "Where shall we park today, I feel like somewhere different?" Allow them to make a suggestion. If their eye's pop open and point to some direction, that's great, you have engagement. Getting out of the car, give them the responsibility of that suggestion: "Do you think you remember where we parked, lets look around...." Returning to the car park after shopping, ask your child if they remember where the car is. They will, praise them for such a great memory.
Leg Power!!
Walking is fantastic, soothes the soul and you can delight in little discoveries that normally wouldn't be found if you were driving along
Get your child to lead the way, allow them to decide which way to go. If they decide in the opposite direction, let them know they have chosen the wrong direction. Get them to think about it if they protest, about the way when traveling in the car. Get them to look for landmarks if possible.
Encourage them to change the route each time, "We went that way last time, let's see where this way will take us".
After all possible routes are exhausted, they might have found a favourite way, or the quick way etc, then the choices are still there.
Also inform them too that there might other factors when deciding a route, such as time. "Today we have to take the quick way as we don't have a lot of time, or it looks like it might rain quite soon" etc.
If time is short, suggest cycling. If the weather is not favourable, how about taking the bus or train.
Introduce Public Transport ASAP
Using the bus or train introduces the idea of coordinated, communal traveling and strangers. There are also a lot of processes involved with using public transport, such as buying tickets, which train/bus, which platform/bus stop, timing of the trip etc. It's an incredibly valuable education in engagement and decision making.
I am aghast at the amount of teenagers or young adults who are fearful of using trains or buses because of so many factors that include the following
1) There so many strangers,
2) I don't know which train to take
3) What ticket to buy
4) What do I do if I get off at the wrong station.
Some years ago my daughter Zjarie and her best friend Rachel organised with a few friends to venture into the city to see the annual Archibald Prize at the Art Gallery Of NSW. At the age of 15, she was a public transport pro!.
Middle of the day, Saturday, lots of people and safety in numbers, they were at an age that parental supervision should now be limited.
A group of ten 15 year olds wanted to go. There was some coordinating to do. The train seemed to be the best option as St James Station was just a very short walk to the gallery. As we live in a rural area and most of the kids were scattered over a 20 km distance, quite a few didn't live any where near the 3 stations available. The question was posed if 3 or 4 could sleep overnight beforehand, some also needed to be back before a certain time due to other commitments. All were to meet at the designated train station for the 9.05am train and be back by 3.30pm.
Listening to the girls discuss everything from timing, billeting and itinerary with expertise was amazing and reassuring, these girls had everything under control without parental supervision. There were a couple of hiccups. One boy who had just achieved his black belt in karate wasn't confident enough to go on this daytime excursion without a parent. He had never used public transport before and traveling all the way into the city was to much for him so he bailed out. The other hiccup was a parent who rang me, I had to hold the phone at arm's length, her expletives still made my ears curl. There was another forced bail out.
The day came and went, it was the first of many, many such trips. 8 teenagers would have fond memories of a fantastic day in the city complete with culture and a picnic lunch in the park, the same 8, who get together, travel the country and this year will go to Greece during University break.
The moral of this story is; At one point in time you can no longer hold your childs hand, you have to let go. Introducing & educating them in life's skills from the earliest possible time will make the transition for you and your growing child all the more easier.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Life or Law?
It's heartbreaking enough to loose an unborn baby at any stage of pregnancy. For the law to decide that your child doesn't exist, it's more than salt rubbed into the open wound, it becomes an anguishing form of torture. A hell no innocent family should ever experience.
Our hearts ache for the Ball family, whose much anticipated second child's life was snuffed out by the actions of an imbecile on drugs. An imbecile who drove the car off the road, mounted the curb and ran over Zoe's mum. The Zoe who was to be born next month, instead she will be buried. Zoe doesn't exist according to the law, therefore she has no rights and no one can be held accountable for her death.
At 8 months gestation, the unborn baby is viable, the baby can survive outside of the womb. I know, I have had 3 premature babies. All alive and here with me.
So where does this take the law now in respect to the abortion laws?. After 24 weeks of pregnancy, abortion is illegal, except in the case of a medical emergency. People have been successfully prosecuted and imprisoned on this law.
Why does a 25 week old unwanted fetus have more rights than a 36 week old very wanted and loved fetus.
Our hearts ache for the Ball family, whose much anticipated second child's life was snuffed out by the actions of an imbecile on drugs. An imbecile who drove the car off the road, mounted the curb and ran over Zoe's mum. The Zoe who was to be born next month, instead she will be buried. Zoe doesn't exist according to the law, therefore she has no rights and no one can be held accountable for her death.
At 8 months gestation, the unborn baby is viable, the baby can survive outside of the womb. I know, I have had 3 premature babies. All alive and here with me.
So where does this take the law now in respect to the abortion laws?. After 24 weeks of pregnancy, abortion is illegal, except in the case of a medical emergency. People have been successfully prosecuted and imprisoned on this law.
Why does a 25 week old unwanted fetus have more rights than a 36 week old very wanted and loved fetus.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Engagement Mentor parenting: easier than you think
Engagement/Mentor parenting is a parenting model that strives to teach children from the earliest possible age to engage in the world around them. Children that are reared using this principle are far more self assured and confident with the world. Children, that grow into adulthood with all the necessary skills to make independent successful decisions and become great communicators. Life is all about decision and communication, hence the phrase; "Life might be business, but communication is Life".
Starting with your baby in a sling or a baby carrier, allows your baby to be at face with your world. Subliminally, through your daily activities, they are not only observing, but sharing the everyday processes of life. Leave baby in a cot of pram they are actually missing out on vital human communication and crucial living skills.
Many mums using prams, will turn the baby away from a adult conversation instead of turning the pram inwards for baby to face who mum is talking to. When you meet someone whilst out and about, it's great to stop and chat, and why not! your perfectly entitled to. Instead of facing the pram away from the conversation, turn pram around so that baby can see you and other people too. It is far better to take baby out of the pram and hold baby up with while talking. In a sling or baby carrier this will occur naturally.
Baby, while watching the conversation, will be exposed to and observe vital key elements like body language, tempo and general atmosphere. From 9 months of age, babies will often understand the difference between "friends and associates".
Psychological studies have shown that babies left out of conversations tend to grizzle and whine whenever their parents start talking. When, as they become toddlers and preschoolers actually interfered within the parents ability to converse with people, leading to parental frustration and tension between parent and child. Babies that had been included in conversation from birth, had grown into preschoolers that could not only contribute to the conversation, but could also analyse when to contribute.
It is important to include children in as many forms of conversation as possible.
Starting with your baby in a sling or a baby carrier, allows your baby to be at face with your world. Subliminally, through your daily activities, they are not only observing, but sharing the everyday processes of life. Leave baby in a cot of pram they are actually missing out on vital human communication and crucial living skills.
Many mums using prams, will turn the baby away from a adult conversation instead of turning the pram inwards for baby to face who mum is talking to. When you meet someone whilst out and about, it's great to stop and chat, and why not! your perfectly entitled to. Instead of facing the pram away from the conversation, turn pram around so that baby can see you and other people too. It is far better to take baby out of the pram and hold baby up with while talking. In a sling or baby carrier this will occur naturally.
Baby, while watching the conversation, will be exposed to and observe vital key elements like body language, tempo and general atmosphere. From 9 months of age, babies will often understand the difference between "friends and associates".
Psychological studies have shown that babies left out of conversations tend to grizzle and whine whenever their parents start talking. When, as they become toddlers and preschoolers actually interfered within the parents ability to converse with people, leading to parental frustration and tension between parent and child. Babies that had been included in conversation from birth, had grown into preschoolers that could not only contribute to the conversation, but could also analyse when to contribute.
It is important to include children in as many forms of conversation as possible.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
How Bubba Moe Slings began
Bubba Moe Slings has been a labour of love since 1985 when we celebrated the birth of my first child Ryan, and my family laughed to hysterics at my first rudimentary attempt of a sling. He was 6 weeks old when I ruined 2 perfectly good sets of sheets in the elaborate making process.
By the end of it, we only had one sheet left to sleep on, 3 useless prototypes, and I was a mess. In my mind it seemed to work so much better, but I didn't give up, I kept going till I finally made one that seemed to work.
When I think about that sling, I cringe, considering what I know now.
Ryan would simply howl whenever I put him down, he was happy only when I was carrying him, I needed to devise something to give me my hands back.
I was convinced that for my very first Mother's Day, I would be receiving the "Most Useless Mother in History" award.
In 1987, I decided to be prepared and make my sling before my second child was born. By the time my second son Drue was 6 months old, 2 more variations had been made.
I worked on improving on all the elements that didn't seem quite right with the previous model and enhancing everything that did make my sling feel right and secure.
What I wasn't prepared for was the backlash from other mother's when I was out and about.
The derogative comments ranged from asking if I was an escapee from some hippy commune from Nimbin, to, and mostly consisted of how my children would grow up to be really bad people as obviously I was an undisciplined and unworthy mother.
Paralysed by politeness I never made a retort.
We were grocery shopping, Drue in the sling and Ryan in the toddler seat of the trolley. Stopping to choose some tuna, a mother with her toddler in the seat as well, stopped next to us, looking for something on the opposite side of the isle. Her son leaned over and punched my Ryan in the face!!. The poor mother aghast at her son's action, smacked him in return, apologised to me and scurried off.
Before I could say a word, Drue leaned out and cradled Ryan's face with his little hand, then started to stroke his brother's face ever so gently, the look that crossed between the two was of cheer love and compassion.
An epiphany hit me like a freight train, Drue had understood at just 8 months of age, the concept of care and compassion.
The day before, we were at the park. Ryan had fallen over and bruised his ego. I held him tight to console him, and when he knew he was alright, he lifted his head, I stroked his face while asking him if he was ok, after a quick nod he raced of again to play.
Drue had seen this as he was right there, if he had been in the pram he would have missed scene.
I waited until early evening to visit a neighbour down the road who is a early childhood psychologist, Joanna Pickford.
We spent many hours talking that night about all things to do with baby behavior, parenting models etc, confirming what I had discovered that day, that babies fully understand and are aware of all that goes on around them even if they can't speak.
All things I knew intuitively, but could never label.
Not only did this event mark the beginning of my tenacious quest into research.
It was also the point where, as a parent, I threw out routine and replaced it with structure and communication. My life as a parent became a whole lot easier and happier.
By the end of it, we only had one sheet left to sleep on, 3 useless prototypes, and I was a mess. In my mind it seemed to work so much better, but I didn't give up, I kept going till I finally made one that seemed to work.
When I think about that sling, I cringe, considering what I know now.
Ryan would simply howl whenever I put him down, he was happy only when I was carrying him, I needed to devise something to give me my hands back.
I was convinced that for my very first Mother's Day, I would be receiving the "Most Useless Mother in History" award.
In 1987, I decided to be prepared and make my sling before my second child was born. By the time my second son Drue was 6 months old, 2 more variations had been made.
I worked on improving on all the elements that didn't seem quite right with the previous model and enhancing everything that did make my sling feel right and secure.
What I wasn't prepared for was the backlash from other mother's when I was out and about.
The derogative comments ranged from asking if I was an escapee from some hippy commune from Nimbin, to, and mostly consisted of how my children would grow up to be really bad people as obviously I was an undisciplined and unworthy mother.
Paralysed by politeness I never made a retort.
We were grocery shopping, Drue in the sling and Ryan in the toddler seat of the trolley. Stopping to choose some tuna, a mother with her toddler in the seat as well, stopped next to us, looking for something on the opposite side of the isle. Her son leaned over and punched my Ryan in the face!!. The poor mother aghast at her son's action, smacked him in return, apologised to me and scurried off.
Before I could say a word, Drue leaned out and cradled Ryan's face with his little hand, then started to stroke his brother's face ever so gently, the look that crossed between the two was of cheer love and compassion.
An epiphany hit me like a freight train, Drue had understood at just 8 months of age, the concept of care and compassion.
The day before, we were at the park. Ryan had fallen over and bruised his ego. I held him tight to console him, and when he knew he was alright, he lifted his head, I stroked his face while asking him if he was ok, after a quick nod he raced of again to play.
Drue had seen this as he was right there, if he had been in the pram he would have missed scene.
I waited until early evening to visit a neighbour down the road who is a early childhood psychologist, Joanna Pickford.
We spent many hours talking that night about all things to do with baby behavior, parenting models etc, confirming what I had discovered that day, that babies fully understand and are aware of all that goes on around them even if they can't speak.
All things I knew intuitively, but could never label.
Not only did this event mark the beginning of my tenacious quest into research.
It was also the point where, as a parent, I threw out routine and replaced it with structure and communication. My life as a parent became a whole lot easier and happier.
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