August every year I fly over to Perth for the annual
PBC Expo. This is the only expo that I go as our own rep for Babyland and other
stores that stock our slings.
I love Perth, so it’s never a case of coaxing. It
never ceases to amaze me how friendly, warm-hearted and open Perth people are,
and besides their city is beautiful too!
Each year it’s the same, I get in a last minute flap organising
everything for the staff I leave behind. The day I was leaving for the flight
over I was at the factory before 6.30am, 10 am I raced home to finish packing
my suitcase, as my stomach started to protest, realising that I hadn’t eaten
anything except a few teas, a coffee and a Chai since 3am that morning.
Scoffing down 2 slices of toast I made a mental note
to catch something more significant at the airport before the late afternoon
flight.
Ok, that didn’t happen as I got sidetracked at a cute
children’s store in the transit lounge, buying something for Little Miss
Mischief. Racing towards the gate I managed to get in on time, well, I’ll get
something from the in flight menu.
6.30 pm, with tummy protesting louder than it did this
morning, I grabbed the menu. Hmm, the ‘Masterchef’ Salmon pie made my nose turn
up and the skinny chick salad wrap was equally unappealing. I’ve had the giant
cookie on a previous flight, I didn’t like that either.
I turned the menu around a few times just to check if
there might have been something I had missed. I didn’t feel like Alcohol, and
the coffee, I remember was enough to send shudders down my person.
Mental note to myself, don’t be so fussy, but fussy
still won out so I ignored my tummy and thought, I’ll catch something at the
Dome Café at the airport. They’ve always got a good selection.
Arriving at just past midnight in Perth, I ignored the
rush of passengers to the baggage carousel and headed straight for Dome.
Ordered Chai, as per usual, but their remaining food was on the thin, not to my
taste side. Deep breath, don’t be fussy, just be pick something, anything for
goodness sakes. Nah, I’ll get something at the Hotel. Collect lonely bag from
carousel.
Arrive at hotel, check in, and head the long, long
walk to find my room. Back tracking along the way, because suddenly the room
numbers go out of sync. Criss-cross the main corridor a few times only to find
it’s the very last room, in the very last nook I look in.
Head straight for the fridge in anticipation of a well
stocked mini bar, chips will do nicely right about now.
Open fridge to find 3 little sachets of milk and
nothing else. Stick head inside just in case I missed the spot that held the
normal offerings of chips, chocolates and nuts. Nothing, zilch, zip.
Light bulb! There is always the complimentary free
bickies!
Head for the cupboard that has the tea & coffee
sachets, only to find just that! No bickies. For an expensive Hotel (because I
left the booking rather late) this was unacceptable. No bickies, scratches
head.
Light bulb! Room service! Dial for room service only
to find that they closed 10 minutes before hand. This can’t be good.
Make tea using the 3 tiny miniscule sachets of milk,
not that palatable, reminds me of the type of tea my mother used to make. I
miss her, but never, ever have I missed the woeful tea she used to make. A splish,
splash & drop of milk makes any tea a blah experience. I like mine to look
like a golden-bronzed Aussie, full bodied & richly flavoured.
Grab my Mary Poppins style handbag, which always has
something left over from LMM’s ‘I don’t want to carry this anymore’. Rummage
neatly then turn the bag upside down to tip out its contents. Immediately
regret decision, looking at the carnage on the floor. 
There it tumbles, rolling
on the ground, with a glowing halo pulsating from its shiny wrapped being, a
Werther’s original.
Cheesy grin erupts on face!
I don’t know how long its been in my bag, but its
wrapped, so its still good according to my completely depleted stomach.
The last little sliver manages to lodge in a deep
cavity that once a tooth resided. Claw at ceiling in excruciating pain till it
dislodges itself with the help of a rather forceful tongue. Mental note to
oneself; get over stupid fear of dentist and their horrible dose of torture,
get the multitude of almost extinct teeth fixed.
Face plants the bed, complaining to no one but myself
about the single cotton cell blanket that provides the only form of warmth in
this cold room.
4.30am, wakes with the trumpeting pain of a stomach
embarking on a full scale war!
Light bulb! All McDonalds are open at 5am in most city
centres if not 24/7. Dresses, sips a black cup of tea to waken rest of body.
Stomach yells at rest of body to hurry up.
Walk the darkened deserted streets of Perth City
towards McDonalds. It’s a long, very cold 6-block walk, but considering that
since I have given myself lately a hefty dose of ASTC (Ass Stuck To Chair) I
shouldn’t complain.
Turn corner, startled by a man like figure lurking in
the shadows. Jump sideways, heart goes a little further. Phew, its one of the
many bronze statues that adorn the city fair.
Catch heart before it splatters on the road beside me,
push back into chest and quicken the pace.
Arrive at McDonalds only to find they open at 6am. Oh
joy!!
There are people around, but they look like the
homeless variety.
Mental note to oneself, next volunteer work I do will
be to help feed homeless people, considering they would feel like this on a
daily basis.
2 young girls walk up, pyjama clad with sloppy joes
thrown over the top. The 3 of us look hopelessly into the entrance of the empty
McDonalds and start talking.
Half an hour later we are still pacing like
protesters, when a troupe of runners dash past. One girl claps and cheers and
tells them they are doing a great job, keep it up she yells out “You’re
Trojans, pillars of society”
I like this girl; she’s fun even if she still has last
night’s makeup caked on. I look worse, more like a walking train wreck.
Some of the early morning workers turn up. We get
excited at the very soon prospect of food. The next half hour is sheer agony
when the make up girl starts singing the David Jones Food Hall song “Food,
glorious food” which I think was taken from the musical Oliver.
The wondrous chime of the Perth Town Hall clock
heralds the 6am we were waiting for.
6.05am girls start clawing at the window, I join in to
scare them into opening on time. No such luck.
6.10am girls start to slide down front glass doors, I
try but my jacket gets stuck, bare of back touches ice-cold doors. Howl at the
shock of it, all the while the staff continue to ignore us.
6.15am and finally, they open! Girls rush to counter
first, they’re bigger & by the looks of it hungrier than me if that’s at
all possible.
Manage to order a hotcakes meal, though it took 4
attempts to get the young employee to understand that I really only just wanted
the hotcakes. Repeating far too many times in her very broken English “Yu wa
mel” ***sigh*** Ok, I have meal then. Just give me some food already.
Sit down to eat as a homeless man walks in with a coin
loot of $1.50. Employee says coffee is $2.95. I dig out coin purse to help pay
for coffee but the manager waves the employee aside and gives the man a large
coffee for the coins before I can get to the counter.
The homeless man sits at the table next to mine,
savouring his coffee. I can’t eat the hash brown or the last hotcake so I ask
him if he’d like to continue enjoying the hot, freshly baked hash brown and
hotcake for me.
He smiles and nods as I hand over my no longer needed
food. I’m full, take sip of coffee and nearly choke. I’d forgotten how tar like
the McDonalds regular coffee is.
As if by instinct the homeless man holds out hand, still
coughing & spluttering, I gladly relinquish to him the poison he seems to
like so much.
I get up to go, chirping off a ‘see you later’ he
winks back with a smiley “Your trip here will be very successful”, the manner
of the voice not quite matching his look. Scratches head.
Skip all the way back to the hotel, stopping only to
say “boo” to the statue that startled me before and a quick pit stop for real
milk at the now open convenience store enroute.
Life’s happy as I enjoy a real cup of tea back at the Hotel.
Find a stash of blankets in the wardrobe, which makes me feel better about not freezing
to death over the next few nights.
A couple of hour’s later head off to the first day of what
will be a complete sell out of Bubba Moe Slings.
Very successful Expo indeed!
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