People who know me on a personal level, also know that I'm a raving insomniac.
Normally it doesn't interfere with my normal day to day stuff, except for the usual battiness, but I never knew it would make me miss out on one the most yearly treasured events a mother can partake in..... The Annual Chocfest! AKA the Easter Egg hunt.
*Try to wake hubby - nothing happening there.
*Make Tea - successfully turn on Mac.
*Facebook says good morning.
*Finish 5 games on Words with Friends
Adzing isn't a real word, but it's a cool
scrabble word - score 65 points.
*Stroll around the front yard. Finish lukewarm
tea.
*Confuse the bejeesus out of the cat - move food
bowl 2 feet to the left.
*Still dark - think about the places to put the
little Easter eggs.
*Must remember to count hidden eggs - found some
under a fern last month. Could have been there from last year or even the year
before.
*Still in good condition. Won't tell you if I ate them or not.
*FB friend suggest I read her new blog. She’s
excited.
Read her blog. It had 2 lines – exhilarating
stuff potentially, maybe.
Any story that starts with “This is my story so
far. Share the journey with me as I take you………” has the mega movie deal
potential attached to it.
*Sit on front porch again with 2nd cup
of tea- cat still looking for its food bowl.
*Discover possible money making venture - lady
made millions on a book on how to lose weight by walking around her
clothesline. Hmm, looks at own body, this could work.
Walk down path, across the front, up the
driveway, across the porch - walk circuit 10 times - gets bored. Maybe not.
*Navigates house in complete darkness to retrieve
hidden chocfest stash from bedroom -extra bodies on the couch - asleep.
Envious.
*Is it light outside yet - no.
*Has argument with front door - finally closes.
*Sits down at desk, peruse all the funny
parenting FB pages - laughs silently at copious posts.
*Front door opens
again.....
***Sigh***
*Ignores door.
*Don super fantasmagorical
earphones and let the poignant dulcet tones of Pete Murray caress my ears while
losing as many Solitaire games I care to.
*Draft comes through front
door to tap me on the shoulder as if to say “Hi remember me”
*Brrrrrr.
*Scoop up bag of little
Easter eggs and torch.
*Place all 127 chocolate
delights around the entire yard – comes inside wearing more cobwebs than
intended.
*Sneak into couple of
children’s rooms, place their personal Easter eggs on their pillow – older
daughter rolls over, egg rolls down and conks her in the head. Exit quickly
with the silent stealth of my orange octopus shoes (a must have for all
insomniacs)
*Insomnia is a lonely time
and I intend to keep it that way.
*6.30am – almost light
*3rd cup of tea
and a spot of predawn gardening.
*Succumb to a breakfast
entrée of a lone solitary egg that was whispering “eat me, eat me”
*Is the total 126 eggs or
125 now?
*Cat has finally found his
food bowl. Not the smartest feline in the street.
*Come inside – check FB
again, just like my mind, it’s only half loading.
**Sigh**
*Feel something crawl on my
back – eek!
*Do the hot potato clothes
evacuation – almost naked.
Finds curled up dried leaf
on floor - movement in corner of eye.
*Spots Little Miss Mischief
standing at the entrance of the office – holding an Easter Bunny in one hand
and a Judy Moody & the Not So Bummer Summer DVD in the other. Her mouth is
wide open and her jaw is on the ground.
UM, um…..
“Watch this with me, I’ll
make the tea” Her eyes have Oscar worthy drama.
*I let her - she makes
awesome tea.
*Snuggle up on couch
together, watch the opening credits………..
*Eyes open to see 3 faces
peering down at me over the back of the couch.
“She’s alive” Must be a
shock to them.
*Look out the glass door to
see beautiful warm sunshine - the clock is lying saying it is 12.30pm.
Shite, shite, shite!
The Easter Egg hunt! -
*Image appears - all the eggs melted into a mush that only the ants would adore.
“Don’t worry” says hubby
triumphantly, “All ready been done”
*Little Miss Mischief holds
up overused hot pink Barbie Easter Egg pail.
*Both have unbelievable
cheesy grins.
“Wha……..t, it’s……
already……. done” whimpering meekly.
*A moment of epic mother
disappointment; I have never missed an Easter Egg hunt in all of my 27 years of
parenting.
*It’s my right of passage. I
laid the eggs. I fought dangerous cobwebs. I tripped over backyard junk. I travelled
bravely through the long dark fern alley yielding only a torch for guidance and
security.
Fern alley - beautiful by
day, terrifyingly spooky at both midnight and at 4am.
*Sudden onset of childcare
mother syndrome – Crestfallen that someone else witnessed my child’s first steps.
*Little Miss Mischief
disappears into the backyard – glimpse secret wink to dad.
*In the kitchen, Teenage
Troll sets a new world record – How many eggs can fit in his mouth. Ghastly
evidence on chin as his friend falls over from hysterical laughter.
*The coffee machine is
blurring away competing with the sound of Missy Zip’s mobile phone.
*A playstation war game is
trumpeting a cacophony of battles cries from The Chefs bedroom.
*The TV is blaring.
*The phone is ringing.
And I slept through all of
that for the last 5.5 hours!
*Little Miss Mischief
returns- drags me outside.
“Don’t cry mum” - I wasn’t
crying.
*5 little golden eggs in my
hand later – my mouth smiles but my stomach says, oh no!
I hope everyone has a had a
wonderful & entertaining Easter as we did.
P.S.
Insomnia is not taking credit as it kept me awake, pointing the blame to Sleep instead. Sleep says "Hey, don't blame me, its not my fault you kept me waiting"
all photos gratefully sourced from Google images, because I'm a lousy photographer and cartoonist.
