Let not Insomnia spoil a carefully planned Easter Egg Hunt

People who know me on a personal level, also know that I'm a raving insomniac.

Normally it doesn't interfere with my normal day to day stuff, except for the usual battiness, but I never knew it would make me miss out on one the most yearly treasured events a mother can partake in..... The Annual Chocfest! AKA the Easter Egg hunt.

*Wake @ 2.20am, roll around, toss & turn.

*Try to wake hubby - nothing happening there.

*Make Tea - successfully turn on Mac.

*Facebook says good morning.

*Finish 5 games on Words with Friends

Adzing isn't a real word, but it's a cool scrabble word - score 65 points.

*Stroll around the front yard. Finish lukewarm tea.

*Confuse the bejeesus out of the cat - move food bowl 2 feet to the left.

*Still dark - think about the places to put the little Easter eggs.

*Must remember to count hidden eggs - found some under a fern last month. Could have been there from last year or even the year before. 

*Still in good condition. Won't tell you if I ate them or not.

*FB friend suggest I read her new blog. She’s excited.

Read her blog. It had 2 lines – exhilarating stuff potentially, maybe.

Any story that starts with “This is my story so far. Share the journey with me as I take you………” has the mega movie deal potential attached to it.

*Sit on front porch again with 2^nd cup of tea- cat still looking for its food bowl.

*Discover possible money making venture - lady made millions on a book on how to lose weight by walking around her clothesline. Hmm, looks at own body, this could work.

Walk down path, across the front, up the driveway, across the porch - walk circuit 10 times - gets bored. Maybe not.

*Navigates house in complete darkness to retrieve hidden chocfest stash from bedroom -extra bodies on the couch - asleep. Envious.

*Is it light outside yet - no.

*Has argument with front door - finally closes.

*Sits down at desk, peruse all the funny parenting FB pages - laughs silently at copious posts.

*Front door opens again.....

***Sigh***

*Ignores door.

*Don super fantasmagorical earphones and let the poignant dulcet tones of Pete Murray caress my ears while losing as many Solitaire games I care to.

*Draft comes through front door to tap me on the shoulder as if to say “Hi remember me”

*Brrrrrr.

*Scoop up bag of little Easter eggs and torch.

*Place all 127 chocolate delights around the entire yard – comes inside wearing more cobwebs than intended.

*Sneak into couple of children’s rooms, place their personal Easter eggs on their pillow – older daughter rolls over, egg rolls down and conks her in the head. Exit quickly with the silent stealth of my orange octopus shoes (a must have for all insomniacs)

*Insomnia is a lonely time and I intend to keep it that way.

*6.30am – almost light

*3^rd cup of tea and a spot of predawn gardening.

*Succumb to a breakfast entrée of a lone solitary egg that was whispering “eat me, eat me”

*Is the total 126 eggs or 125 now?

*Cat has finally found his food bowl. Not the smartest feline in the street.

*Come inside – check FB again, just like my mind, it’s only half loading.

**Sigh**

*Feel something crawl on my back – eek!

*Do the hot potato clothes evacuation – almost naked.

Finds curled up dried leaf on floor - movement in corner of eye.

*Spots Little Miss Mischief standing at the entrance of the office – holding an Easter Bunny in one hand and a Judy Moody & the Not So Bummer Summer DVD in the other. Her mouth is wide open and her jaw is on the ground.

UM, um…..

“Watch this with me, I’ll make the tea” Her eyes have Oscar worthy drama.

*I let her - she makes awesome tea. 

*Snuggle up on couch together, watch the opening credits………..

*Eyes open to see 3 faces peering down at me over the back of the couch.

“She’s alive” Must be a shock to them.

*Look out the glass door to see beautiful warm sunshine - the clock is lying saying it is 12.30pm.

                                     Shite, shite, shite!

The Easter Egg hunt! - 

*Image appears - all the eggs melted into a mush that only the ants would adore.

“Don’t worry” says hubby triumphantly, “All ready been done”

*Little Miss Mischief holds up overused hot pink Barbie Easter Egg pail.

*Both have unbelievable cheesy grins.

“Wha……..t, it’s…… already……. done” whimpering meekly.

*A moment of epic mother disappointment; I have never missed an Easter Egg hunt in all of my 27 years of parenting.

*It’s my right of passage. I laid the eggs. I fought dangerous cobwebs. I tripped over backyard junk. I travelled bravely through the long dark fern alley yielding only a torch for guidance and security.

Fern alley - beautiful by day, terrifyingly spooky at both midnight and at 4am.

*Sudden onset of childcare mother syndrome – Crestfallen that someone else witnessed my child’s first steps.

*Little Miss Mischief disappears into the backyard – glimpse secret wink to dad.

*In the kitchen, Teenage Troll sets a new world record – How many eggs can fit in his mouth. Ghastly evidence on chin as his friend falls over from hysterical laughter.

*The coffee machine is blurring away competing with the sound of Missy Zip’s mobile phone.

*A playstation war game is trumpeting a cacophony of battles cries from The Chefs bedroom.

*The TV is blaring.

*The phone is ringing.

And I slept through all of that for the last 5.5 hours!

*Little Miss Mischief returns- drags me outside.

“Don’t cry mum” - I wasn’t crying.

*5 little golden eggs in my hand later – my mouth smiles but my stomach says, oh no!

I hope everyone has a had a wonderful & entertaining Easter as we did.

P.S.

Insomnia is not taking credit as it kept me awake, pointing the blame to Sleep instead. Sleep says "Hey, don't blame me, its not my fault you kept me waiting"

all photos gratefully sourced from Google images, because I'm a lousy photographer and cartoonist.